Thursday, September 26, 2013

Revised Paragraph: Live Music Changed My Perception



On the beginning of this year, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. This uncertainty was constantly on my mind. I always knew that I would work in music, I just did not know what part of the music industry I would work in. This was the case until Ultra Music Festival 2013.
I found out about Ultra about a year and a half ago when I started to follow my favorite DJ, Hardwell. I listened to his song “Spaceman” and I knew that electronic music was going to be my favorite genre. I always commented to my friends about Ultra, though no one knew about it. Later that same year, people started talking about Ultra, people that had no interest in it when I talked about it. It seemed as though the moment one guy bought a ticket everyone wanted to go. I was pretty upset because I was still unsure if I was going to go to Ultra. But luckily this mood changed.
In March, I was in Miami on vacation with my family and I noticed that the last week of my vacation in Miami was also the first week of Ultra. I mentioned to my parents that Ultra was taking place that weekend, but it seemed like they did not care that much. I didn’t know but, later that day, my parents surprised me with two tickets for my brother and me to go to Ultra. They told me it was for my birthday and I was so happy that I almost fainted.
I thought that going to Ultra was going to be just another concert; you just go, have fun, and go back to your regular life after. That was not the case with Ultra. It changed my ideas of what I wanted to do with my life. So I went to Ultra and I got to see my favorite DJs, Hardwell and Deadmau5, and in that moment I just had a blast. Later that night after Ultra ended, when I was heading home, I still had those memories of the concerts fresh in my mind. This new experience had been embedded in my mind. I felt that it was not just me who just had an amazing experience, but there were thousands of people who got to experience something new. At that moment I knew that I wanted to be the guy who brings new memories and experiences to people around the world.
After Ultra, I felt like I knew what I wanted to do in terms of my career path. I want to go into the business of live concerts and shows. I want to be a production manager. I want to be part of a team that is in charge of giving the same experience I had to others, or even new experiences no one has ever had in their lives. Thanks to a single memorable moment in my life, I now know what I want to dedicate my life to.

1 comment:

  1. Knowing what you want is the first step to getting what you want, no? I'm glad you discovered your path and your "passion" early.

    You still need to do quite a bit of work revising. Read each of your sentences aloud. This technique will help you catch your errors. You have quite a few run-ons, something you should now be able to catch and fix.

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