8a.m. now. I have to get to Wilson by 9a.m. for service learning orientation. This is what my mom and dad warned about college: independence. But, they, especially my dad, never told me the reward of it. Twenty minutes have passed and I haven’t left yet. Mom and dad not here to pick me up and drop me off. Grandma, too. I’m afraid to do anything on my own, because everyone was there to get me to where I needed to go, I never had to worry. Clicking on and off my Google Maps every ten seconds was not shrinking the 2.2 mile direction I have to bicycle. I did anyway, because time was becoming an enemy. I’m thinking where do I have to go? What if there is a pile up? What do I do if there is massive street construction ahead? I want and need an excuse. I’m freaking out all the way to Wilson Charter, not even realizing that I just made it. Finally, orientation. Wilson’s administrator asks me interesting questions about my major, gives my a handout for fingerprinting/background check, reads me the school’s motto - Work Hard. Be Kind. Be Better., and finally hands me the school’s calendar (from August-December) along with highlighted Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I was awarded a service learning placement at Wilson. And going my way back here, to Loyola, was a total breeze - no worries of early morning pile-ups and messy construction zones. I think I see the reward of independence now. You get your job done, and you feel great about it because all the credit goes to you.
I like the immediacy of your story. Add more details to give your reader a better sense of your environment. What did you see on the bike ride? What did the school look like? What was the administrator's name? What did he or she look like, smell like, act like? Use details that not only paint a picture but also add to the "meaning" of your story. For example, it may not matter if the administrator's eyes are brown, but it may be important that the administrator wears a power suit. Always choose details that work toward illustrating your purpose.
ReplyDeleteThis story should be more than one long paragraph. Use a format that is easy to read.